“I’m just a girl who cain’t say no,
Cain’t seem to say it at all
I hate to disserpoint a beau
When he is payin’ a call!” — Ado Annie, Oklahoma!
I’m just a girl who cain’t (spelling accurate :D) say no. However, unlike Ado Annie in the musical Oklahoma! this has nothing to do with men.
I read an article that described people pleasers as individuals who:
… strive to keep peaceful relationships in our lives, balance, and often have a tendency to assist others in need. Hey, we care about them right? The problem is if you always feel compelled to help, or overextend yourself, it can come at the expense of your own happiness.
Like many people, I have trouble saying no to people. To events. To offers to be involved in this or that, even at the expense of my own happiness. I cannot recall a time that I wasn’t involved in some sort of extracurricular activity(s). I’ve been overbooked and underpaid and a people pleaser since I was 6.
”All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.” – Ralph Ellison